After Vegas (I swore I would never go after her trip with the client, since then we have gone together 7 times, time heals I guess!!!) I became much more jaded about our overall relationship. For the first time I was setting out rules for her to operate under and that never goes well, especially for someone as free spirited as my stripper. The rules were simple, they were made so that I would always feel special and that was the intent. Unfortunately she did not see anything wrong with doing any of the things that upset me. She would just say that it is all a game and she loves me and that is all I need to focus on. Easy to say, impossibly hard for me.
She would constantly try to bend the rules, or manage to come up with new things that upset me that were not in the scope of the rules. I guess my thinking was that I wanted her to do nothing that she thought would upset me. I was never able to effectively explain to her why all these things upset me, so it was easy for her to find new ways.
For example, I was at work and during the say she went out to buy a coffee for herself which she does every day. She actually bumped into a customer at the coffee shop. Since it was not a planned visit she thought it would be fine to go ahead and have a coffee with him (which turned into lunch). She tells me this that evening like it was not an issue even though it clearly broke our rules. She did not see it that way. The guy paid for her lunch, paid her for her time so it was just work.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Stripping hard work???
It is very easy from the guys point of view to look at the job of a stripper as more of a party than anything else. I mean, come on, you get to spend every night drinking in a club, picking up guys, meeting new people every night, sounds like a party. If only I had the body, personality, guts, I would do the same. Unfortunately to make good money it is a lot of hard work:
- long shifts, to make the $$$ I talked about earlier, girls are working from 6pm to close (2:30am). By the time the stipper gets home, cleans up, counts the money, its 4:00am bed time
- Working out, hair removal, outfit shopping take up a large portion of the free time not at the club
- the constant rejection from guys can really take its toll on a stripper. My stripper just got home and she had a rare night where every guy said no. She made about 10% of what she normally makes. Tonight, she hates men, and hates me because I am a man.
- no matter what is going on in your personal life, the stipper has to put on a brave smile and have the same boring conversations (lies coming from usually the stipper and the client) over and over and over
The money is good, the flexibility is great, can take a day off whenever you want, but emotionally it really takes its toll making the stippers "normal" life very difficult sometimes.
- long shifts, to make the $$$ I talked about earlier, girls are working from 6pm to close (2:30am). By the time the stipper gets home, cleans up, counts the money, its 4:00am bed time
- Working out, hair removal, outfit shopping take up a large portion of the free time not at the club
- the constant rejection from guys can really take its toll on a stripper. My stripper just got home and she had a rare night where every guy said no. She made about 10% of what she normally makes. Tonight, she hates men, and hates me because I am a man.
- no matter what is going on in your personal life, the stipper has to put on a brave smile and have the same boring conversations (lies coming from usually the stipper and the client) over and over and over
The money is good, the flexibility is great, can take a day off whenever you want, but emotionally it really takes its toll making the stippers "normal" life very difficult sometimes.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Jealousy
Once the jealousy starts, it never goes away. Once you get into the mindset of wondering what she is doing all the time, the images are very difficult to shake. I did make a trip back into the club (which I never do) to pick her up one night and I could not find her. I eventually saw her in the VIP room dancing for someone (mining convention, lots of $US floating around that night).
What I saw was her naked (obviously), with the customers hands on her ass and she had her head right up against his and was whispering things in his ear. She is very good at her job, I can see why he ended up spending $1500 on her that night. Unfortunately I would have given her $15,000 to be able to shake that image.
Anyway, a small sidetrack from my original thought, but still a different angle on Jealousy. So she came back from Las Vegas all smiles, had a great time and I was considering ending it. I told her this on the phone while she was away. I got so carried away I went to the airport to watch her get off the plane with this guy. I did this, the other two strippers had guys pick them up and my girlfriend got in a limo with the customer. I was convinced I could not take this any more and walked right up to the limo to tell her we are done.
She saw me coming, grabbed her stuff and ran out of the limo without even saying goodbye to the guy. I saw the guy for the first time and he was old, overweight, and quite unattractive. He must have looked pretty funny in Vegas with 3 beautiful strippers on his arms all weekend! So obvious!
We had to come to some understanding after this incident or it was over. What I went through I don't believe can be tolerated by very many boyfriends, especially if you are in love. She agreed and we came to the following understanding; stripping stays in the club. This means no vacations, dinners, phone calls, no communication of any kind with customers outside the club.
I was once again feeling good about where we were...but can you really change a stripper?
What I saw was her naked (obviously), with the customers hands on her ass and she had her head right up against his and was whispering things in his ear. She is very good at her job, I can see why he ended up spending $1500 on her that night. Unfortunately I would have given her $15,000 to be able to shake that image.
Anyway, a small sidetrack from my original thought, but still a different angle on Jealousy. So she came back from Las Vegas all smiles, had a great time and I was considering ending it. I told her this on the phone while she was away. I got so carried away I went to the airport to watch her get off the plane with this guy. I did this, the other two strippers had guys pick them up and my girlfriend got in a limo with the customer. I was convinced I could not take this any more and walked right up to the limo to tell her we are done.
She saw me coming, grabbed her stuff and ran out of the limo without even saying goodbye to the guy. I saw the guy for the first time and he was old, overweight, and quite unattractive. He must have looked pretty funny in Vegas with 3 beautiful strippers on his arms all weekend! So obvious!
We had to come to some understanding after this incident or it was over. What I went through I don't believe can be tolerated by very many boyfriends, especially if you are in love. She agreed and we came to the following understanding; stripping stays in the club. This means no vacations, dinners, phone calls, no communication of any kind with customers outside the club.
I was once again feeling good about where we were...but can you really change a stripper?
Stripper Obsession
I certainly do not want to pretend I am an expert on this subject, but recently started noticing a personality trait that I wonder whether it is widespread amongst strippers;
Her life pretty much revolves around stipping much more than what I would consider "normal" for any employed person. Examples:
- Many conversations throughout the day starting with "I met this guy last night..."
- The need to workout, and then spend countless hours in front of the mirror looking for "fatty" areas that need to be focused on.
- No matter what we go shopping for there is the mandatory stop in several lingerie stores looking for the new outfit that could make her the extra money.
- Constant makeup experiments during the day, new hair styles, hair extentions, hair color.
I guess maybe some of these things would be very similar for anyone with a job as a model, actor, etc.
Over time this constant "obsession" has become another difficulty in our relationship. It is a double edged sword for me; on one hand I really want to know exactly what she is doing, but on the other hand I hate to hear it. After 3 years, still have not figured out how to reconcile this in my head...maybe I need 3 more years.
Her life pretty much revolves around stipping much more than what I would consider "normal" for any employed person. Examples:
- Many conversations throughout the day starting with "I met this guy last night..."
- The need to workout, and then spend countless hours in front of the mirror looking for "fatty" areas that need to be focused on.
- No matter what we go shopping for there is the mandatory stop in several lingerie stores looking for the new outfit that could make her the extra money.
- Constant makeup experiments during the day, new hair styles, hair extentions, hair color.
I guess maybe some of these things would be very similar for anyone with a job as a model, actor, etc.
Over time this constant "obsession" has become another difficulty in our relationship. It is a double edged sword for me; on one hand I really want to know exactly what she is doing, but on the other hand I hate to hear it. After 3 years, still have not figured out how to reconcile this in my head...maybe I need 3 more years.
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