Profile of a stripper

You know, before this crazy ride began I thought all strippers were 18-22 years old, single, trying to make money to support their habit. I was wrong. There are over 3,400 strippers registered in Toronto (this does not include any of the GTA burbs because they do not have to register). Out of the 3,400 there are conservatively 30% of them over the age of 30. It seems any that I have met do not have the drug abuse stories to tell, more of them have bills to pay, morgages, kids to support, and several have dead beat boyfriends to support as well.

Not as glamorous as I envisioned in my dreams growing up..

Moving forward

So she actually forgave me for the lie! She made me promise there were no more shoes to drop. We did struggle for many weeks going back and forth about how I had deceived her, but she is an incredible woman and saw that we did have a future together. In my own stupidity, I let the relationship continue with another shoe yet to drop. I could not help it, I recovered from my lie and we were "like two peas in a pod", I just could not bring myself to add more conflict at this time.

Oh, she did tell me at this time she loved me too! From this point on we could not be separated, the hours of talking on the phone when we were apart grew even more, I drove crazy amounts of km just to see her for a few hours. I would drive 2 hours after work to get to her place, she would get home from the club around 2:00 in the morning, then I would have to get up at 4:00 in the morning to get to work on time. I could only keep this up for so long, I knew it, but I was totally captivated by her (this is why she was so good at her job...she has this effect on men...later on this becomes another challenge in our relationship...)

Mileage

For someone who really did know very little about strippers, strip clubs, adult industry I am learning quickly!



Mileage is a term used by bloggers, strippers, cuistomers which means how close the stripper gets to the client.



Low Mileage:

Private dances where there will be grinding, customer can touch non sexual areas and that is about it



Higher Mileage:

Could include touching breasts, penis touching with pants on, kissing, fingering of stripper



High Mileage:

Could include blow jobs, actual sex in some clubs (very surprising isn't it?) It does happen.

High mileage in the toronto area is mostly restricted to clubs outside dowtown toronto.



Takeout:

Stripper will actually leave with customer sometimes just for companionship like dinner or vacations with no strings attached, to going with customer to car for sex.



Usually Low mileage, higher mileage does not mean more money, it is just individual lines drawn by individual strippers. High Mileage, or Takeout I assume would mean more money, again depending the stripper.

The Lie

I don' t think I had mentioned this before, but I was married. I told her the first night I was married and had gone through a separation, and this is true. What I neglected to tell her was that I have three kids. We were at her place about 4 weeks after we met, I am completely in love with her (have not told her this yet) but I had to get this out. I was so afraid because I thought it meant for sure that it was going to be over. It was an innocent lie I am sure many people tell at strip clubs, but who knew it would come back to haunt me?

So I started the conversation by saying I had something very serious to talk about, and in her usual playful way had no idea how serious it was, I mean we talk all the time, what could I have to tell her I have not already said? It was so hard to bring up the subject but I did.

There was like a really long pause, and I could not get her to say anything. Then when she did, she just kept saying why, why why did you lie, over and over. I really hurt her. What I have learned is that strippers especially have real trust problems which is understandable they get hit on, lied to, talked down to, rejected all day long at their job.

In one of the long pauses I told her that I will make it easy and just leave. I stood up and looked at her, and just kind of blurted out "I love you..."

Then she told me to not go......

Reading Posts on Strippers

Wow, I have been reading posts on strippers for the past couple of days and there is so much negativity!!! I am sure relationships go bad for many reasons, but is it just because dating a stripper is so sensationalized that when things break down everyone wants to blame the breakup on the fact that she was a stripper? Most blogs talk about how strippers are dating many different guys at the same time, are only after money, have screwed up parents, low self esteem, etc etc etc. Does this not describe a large portion of our female society today already? Trust me, there are lots of people in very healthy relationships with strippers. I will admit these healthy relationships are most certainly restricted to stippers who leave their work at work, and do not perform "extras" while at work. But once the guy gets past the perceived emontional "sharing" that goes on at the club and realizes that it is just pretend, and a job like many others there is no reason why strippers cannot have healthy relationships.

Talk Talk Talk

So we talked on the phone while I drove home, then when I got home over 2 hours later, we continued to talk on the phone. I have never experienced this before, the time goes by so fast and we just communicated so easily. There were no topics left unspoken even right away: sex, politics, business, family, past relationships, sex, etc (like sex!).

We very quickly made arrangements to meet again as soon as possible which meant picking her up after work again. She worked almost every day and I never really gave it any thought, was just so excited to spend time with her. Early on what this meant was pick her up at work around 10:00pm and go out for a late dinner. We continued to do this for 5 or 6 nights over a two week period and I very quickly fell for her in a big way. How can this happen so quickly? Any other relationship I was in went much much slower and most never even amounted to what I already felt. Is this just the rush of dating a stripper? I don't think so because to be honest, I never thought about it at all, it was just there in the background. Looking back on it, I am convinced I had actually fallen in love with her by about the end of Week#2.

We went on our first of many trips together around week#3 to Montreal. I had work there so she came along just so we could spend time together. This meant she had to take 2 days off work - commitment !!! I was pretty excited.

So Montreal is where things really started to heat up sexually, I was very interested from the start, but strippers have guys soliciting sex from them all the time so it was very intimidating, and I had a lot of anxiety the first time. I also had something that I was holding back and hadn't told her yet. I needed to get this lie out before things went any further...

Strip Clubs in Toronto

I am certainly not an expert, but I am interested to know if bloggers go to strip clubs. Send me back comments and add to this list. Any descriptions of each place would be great! I am mostly interested in stories you may be able to tell in regards to these places, kind of like what I am attempting to do.

Toronto:

• The Brass Rail - High End, very attractive women
• For Your Eyes Only - High End, very attractive women
• Filmores -
• Zanzibar - older women, more for tourists
• Cheaters - never busy
• Club Pro -
• Diamonds -
• House of Lancaster -
• House of Lancaster II -
• Manhattan Strip -
• Airport Strip -

Mississauga:

• Cannonball - Known as a club with "extras"
• Million Dollar Saloon - Known as a club with "extras"
• I dunno's -
• Treasures -

Wow, are there ever a lot of clubs - I left several out because I just have never heard of them. Please add with descriptions. Would love to hear about stories/adventures you have had at these clubs!

She called me the next morning...

So I answered the phone the next morning and it was her! I was of course gone home, two hours from where I met her so going for a coffee was out of the question. She asked if I had fun last night, and as I said I really did, not like a customer, but like a date. Trust me, I know this is the trap, but could it be there is more? She asked if I could come back to the club and meet her after her shift so we could go out for dinner. I immediately asked if she wanted me to come into the club (assuming I was going to spend more money) but she insisted that I meet her at a coffee shop near the club and she would call when she was done. Is this for real? Am I actually going out on a real date with a stripper? I am living a fantasy...and I am going to have mind blowing sex tonight for sure!!!

So off to the coffee shop I go that afternoon (yes, two hour drive) and I got there an hour early I was so excited, and yet very nervous. I tried to act casual reading the paper, but peering at the front door like every 2 seconds looking for her. What will she look like in the light? What do I look like in the light? She got there about 30 minutes late (sign of things to come) and she is even more hot in the light...I jumped up nervously and gave her a hug. We headed for dinner in the pouring rain. We walked and talked the whole way. Neither of us cared if we got wet. We sat down at the Keg and continued to get to know each other. I barely noticed that we had ordered, barely noticed that the food came, and after 2 hours, food cold, neither of us had eaten very much because we just gabbed the whole evening.

The dinner finally ended (I never did eat) and she said that I should get going as I have a long drive and work the next morning. We walked back to the club, kissed, and she got in her car. I was really not interested in anything more, the night was so perfect, we just got along SO well I knew right away that there was something here that I have never felt before. The question is: Is it just because she is a stripper?

She called me in the car on the way home that night...

What is a stripper

I think I am like most men out there who have this vision of what a stripper is like and what their life is like. I am sure in reality there is no one description, but I thought it would be fun to try and make a list. Please feel free to add, subtract or argue points, these are just my opinions:

What I thougtht two years ago:

• Uneducated
• Addiction Issues
• Promiscuous
• No brains, big boobs
• sleep all day, party all night
• Get off on their jobs sexually
• Escorts

What I have come to realize (In general):

• Intelligent
• Money focused, not sex focused
• They realize it is a fantasy for the men
• Mothers
• Wives
• Girlfriends
• Extremely motivated
• Kind

This is just a start, please add from your experiences !!!

The Beginning....

I am a troubled man looking for free advice. I am counting on the fact that bloggers are restricted to only intelligent, thoughtful, insightful individuals who can find humor in my ramblings and perhaps guide me through my seemingly endless days of drama.

I was going to start this off with the lyrics from a song that I thought were very appropriate for my first entry: T-Pains' "I'm in love with a stripper", but man, the lyrics are terrible! I did not want to promote such trash.

So, unlike a number of blogs I have read in the past few days, I do not match intellect or wit with most of them but maybe even with my crude search and pecking, my blog is interesting enough on its own without complex viewpoints that mean nothing to most.

You may have guessed from above that a recent turn in my life has found me, somehow, In Love with a Stripper. This may not seem like a big deal, but you don't know me yet. I have never been someone who found interest in strip clubs, and my view of strippers and their lifestyles appalled me actually. Little did I know how contrary my view was from reality.

Soulmate (or soul mate) is a term sometimes used to designate someone with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, friendship, love, intimacy, sexuality, and/or compatibility.

I found my soul mate at a strip club:

It was about 1.5 years ago and on a business trip (of which I took many, travelling about 2 weeks out of the month) I found myself sitting in a hotel room flicking through the pay per view movies and realizing I have seen them all, just finished a stressful presentation and not feeling like doing any more work that night. Decided it was time to go out and get a drink. I travelled so much in the past, that I had given up on going out for dinner. It just got really "old" and I had taken to reading and room service. Tonight I found myself bored, no movies to watch, not interested in going out for dinner, so...."let's go to a strip joint!"

I had not been to a strip club since university, and this was about 18 years ago. I have to say, things have changed a little. It used to be a $5 table dance where the girl would bring over a table and dance on it not coming anywhere close to you. Now, as I found out it is much different. Touching in close, dark corners of the bar is where its at today.

I sat down at what I thought was an unassuming spot at the club and ordered a drink. I had not even received my drink yet and already the "you wanna dance?" thing started. The girls are ruthless. They just keep coming at you in waves. I quickly learned the best way to politely let them down (or at least I thought it was polite at the time) was to tell them I could not afford them. I did not want to waste their time talking to me if there was no way for them to get money from me. I was just in the club for a couple drinks and then back to the hotel.

After I had been there for about 30 minutes I saw out of the corner of my eye yet another girl staring at me. I was starting to get better at avoiding eye contact which would keep them away from me for the most part, but....I could not stop staring at this woman with big doe eyes, slim, attractive figure (I realize that is not saying much in a strip club) but most of all she smiled at me. I melted. I fell for the trap and she came over. There was no "wanna dance?", she just sat down and we started talking.

We talked for some time about anything and everything. I finally felt like I owed her some money so I ended up asking her for a dance...very interesting strategy on her part! She took me to the back room and we talked, danced, talked some more until the bar closed about 4 hours later. You must be thinking "He is screwed, he owes her a fortune!" Well, you are right. I paid her $800 which was much less than what I actually owed her, but I found out later she was worried I would not pay her at all, so she was happy to get some money.

During the whole evening I was constantly reminding myself "she is just doing this for the money" but man she was acting so interested and I was just so taken by her, I could not resist at the end of the night and I asked her for her phone number. I of course got rejected, but she asked me for mine. I gave her my phone number, knowing that I had for sure been taken, and would never hear from her again, unless she was calling on a slow night to ask me to come back to the club. I am so gullable. But I really thought there was something different about her, almost right after we started talking. Something really did click in my mind. How stupid am I?

She called the next morning...